The Hardest Thing About the 3rd Trimester that No One Told Me...
Note: posting this much after it was written, since I have been a LITTLE distracted with the arrival of our son! :)
As I write this (at 4am on October 29th - the day after my due date), I'm up in the middle of the night - again. I haven't successfully slept through a night in forever, but these last few weeks especially, I'm usually up from around 3-5am. SO - I figured this day, I would use it to my advantage and get this post started - something I've been thinking about writing.
Now let me start by saying that I am extremely fortunate to have had a relatively easy and "normal" pregnancy, which is all that we can ask for - health for Mom and Baby, and I know how lucky I am for that. But I really wish someone would have told me what I'm about to tell you, and I think it would have made the last month or so easier on myself and my husband especially.
…And that is: do not place any stress, worry or pressure on yourself for WHEN the baby will come. Do not make plans around the baby's arrival because of when you "feel" it might come, and just know - you could be waiting a long long time, or Baby could come way before you are ready! ((This is a lesson I am preaching mostly to myself)) For those of us that make it to, or past our due date…this last month of pregnancy feels like 3, at least! And people love to say when they were born or when their friend delivered, or that they have a secret to inducing labor, trust me - none of it is proven and none of it matters, because everyone's body is different. The constant comparison between you and whomever else you know, (or someone else knows) that is pregnant is pretty much impossible to avoid, I can't stop people from telling you that their friend’s sister’s cousin has the same due date and already has her baby, or that most people with names that end in "e" are likely to give birth on so and so day, but what I can say is remember this: you have no control over when this baby decides to come, and you cannot put pressure on yourself to change it’s arrival date. This weekend I had to just stop responding to texts and messages about how I am feeling, and if the baby is here, and how dialated I am (which by the way - is a pretty personal thing to ask, and for some reason most people feel is information they are entitled to - which is not OK), and "did you try this" to induce, and honestly it just adds to the pressure that you're already feeling because guess what - 10 months of this is long enough for the person going through it, you don't need the entire world to remind you.
Every time I have to pee I ask myself "is my water breaking!?" and if my stomach hurts I think - “is this a contraction?!” and so… I lie awake for my usual 2-3 hours wondering, wishing, waiting for any sign that labor is beginning.
The best advice I was given is to enjoy some "me" time and I have definitely done just that. I took off the last week of work and had a phenomenal time cooking, cleaning, going for long walks and swims at my gym, doing some shopping for post pregnancy, and getting a massage and my nails done! Even if it's just a day or two - take some final days to focus on you and how far you have come, and just don't plan too much of your "last date night" or "last anything" before baby - because early or late, right on time or completely unexpectedly, it's not your fault and it's not in your hands - so just enjoy what you can and lean on those around you for when you need help!!
A few pictures from my last week before Baby…