2 Under 2!
As of last week we are officially out of “2 under 2”, but officially in the “terrible 2s” and let me tell ya… we have our hands full!
A lot of friends and family asked me what it was like the 2nd time around having a baby, or what its like with both of them, so I figured I would dedicate a post to it! We are so so so beyond blessed and lucky that our kids are 23-ish months apart, and that we have 2 healthy babies - so I will start by saying how grateful we are for that! It was our hope to have them around this far apart so that they can play together and hopefully be close as we all grow older. We do not take that for granted! So here’s the deal:
2nd Pregnancy: I never really liked being pregnant, and this pregnancy wasn’t really any harder or easier, with the exception of my back problems. If you’ve followed along, you’ll remember that I had a herniated disc earlier this year that put me on bed rest for about 5 weeks. THAT was the toughest thing to happen other than the pandemic/lock down situation. Other than that - the 2nd pregnancy was pretty similar to the first and like my doctor said… I was boring, which is good. I realize how lucky I am in that regard.
2nd Labor & Delivery: This was WAY easier than the first time! We knew what to expect, so that made things easier, and I was induced again (for COVID reasons but also because we had to plan for child care for Quinn). I arrived at the hospital at 5am, received the pitocin about an hour or so later, and Stella was born around noon. Since large gatherings are where COVID is spread, it was recommended that we dont stay in the hospital longer than absolutely necessary, so we spent just 1 night there, then headed home!
2nd Baby Recovery: Also WAY easier. The body is an amazing thing and I think it just remembered how to heal. I had some cramping that was a lot worse this time around but I have heard that is very normal for 2nd deliveries.
2nd Baby Weight Loss: WAY HARDER. I am really really struggling with this one. I know that everyone says “your body is a miracle, give yourself a break, etc” but it is really hard to not compare to how easily my body bounced back last time, to how terribly its NOT doing that this time around. I can’t lose weight, still have to wear a ton of maternity clothes, and just overall dont feel great about how I look. I’m working on losing weight at a healthy rate, but trying not to focus too much on it, because its more important to be healthy and present for the kids.
The Kids Meeting: We were so nervous and excited for this, and after about 36 hours in the hospital, we came home to introduce Stella to her big bro Quinn. He was soooo excited and couldnt stop saying “sister” and kissing her as loud as possible and saying '“MUAH”!!
Daily Life: Although having a newborn seems easier this time around (just less uncertainty), there are so many new challenges. Of course - sleep deprivation, nothing you can do about that one… and Quinn is in a new phase where he wakes up before 6am on most days - so Jared and I have to divide and conquer - I get up for all the overnight stuff with Stella, and he gets up early with Quinn. I have also never cleaned as much as I do now, and somehow - the house is still always messy haha! We’re doing laundry and loads of dishes every day and of course we are drowning in diapers. A couple things that have made this easier - Amazon Subscribe and Save for things like Wipes, snacks, etc… accepting help from family (2nd time around this was way easier - I’m like “YES you can make me dinner!!” “Who wants to take Quinn out?!" “Can you pick up some groceries?!” haha) <we’ve had to stop doing this a lot with the rise of COVID cases in Chicago, but hopefully we can see more people soon> There is usually 1 hour a day when they’re both napping which is great, and I am big on schedules, so as Stella grows, we will continue to coordinate to get them on similar schedules. I follow the Moms on Call guidelines for scheduling (you can see them on my post here) and the method of “Parent Directed Feeding” from the Babywise Method. Not sure whats right or whats wrong, but it works for us! We’re also SO lucky to still have our nanny coming on week days, so since I am still on Maternity Leave, I can focus on Stella and house-things, while our Nanny is with Quinn! When we’re all together, Quinn definitely gets a little over-excited around her, and doesn’t know how to be gentle around her but thats to be expected with his age. We have to keep him at a bit of a distance when he is really excited or throwing one of his hourly tantrums. On weekends we try to get outside as much as possible to go for walks, play in the park, and just enjoy being a family of four. Then its lunch, nap, clean, dinner, baths, and do it all over again. We wouldnt have it any other way.
Feel free to share your tips for 2 under 2, managing a toddler, getting a newborn to sleep through the night, or anything else that is helpful - I’d love to read it!